Updated Version: https://sites.google.com/s/0BwNBfRJVQpXFZFQ5VUxlaUtVWjg/p/1pmh3roT7niytqROySMVTPY2JlK04QHgU/edit
(Circe Offering the Cup to Odysseus: Wikimedia Commons)
(Circe Offering the Cup to Odysseus: Wikimedia Commons)
The tracks of the beaten up Kia Sorento tear across the asphalt of a residential street as they come to a final stop. "Finally", explains Evan from the back seat. We've spent the entire evening trying to find a party and it looks like we may have just lucked out. Calling the residence in front of us a house was an understatement, it was like an island of its own. From the street, the lights of the house lit up the entire street and it was evident that a party was going on. Rather than just barge in and invite ourselves to the party, I sent Evan, Chance, and Mike in to check out the party and relay back to us. After thirty minutes, only Mike had returned. He was frantic, beads of sweat lined his worried face. He reported back that the party was incredible, however, Chance and Evan indulged in a drink called "Circe-Roc" it was a matter of minutes before they started acting like pigs. They were customarily the most respectful friends of ours, but this drink seems to have corrupted their minds. They were all over girls, asking them for their Snapchat, telling them to "hit them up on Kik" and even worse, they started DMing girls. At this point I realized that I had to go in myself and get them out of there. "Please Dave, don't go in, you'll end up just like them after one drink" pleaded Michael, but my mind was set. As I made my way in the house my senses were overwhelmed by the smell of E-cig juices and Lil John lyrics. Despite the obvious revulsion to the situation I was experiencing I pressed on. After wading through what felt like a sea of people I finally caught wind of Evan and Chance. I went up to Chance and he had a full bottle of "Circe-Roc" in his hands. Everyone was drinking it. Rather than refuse and get forced out of the party I had to do as the Romans do. As I took my first swig I realized this was the best drink I have ever had. I went back out to the car and grabbed the rest of the guys. We stayed till the break of dawn.
Author's Note: The original story is about Odysseus and his men landing on Circe's island after escaping the land of the Cyclopes. Odysseus splits up his men and they explore the island. One of the groups finds the goddess Circe's house and it is amazing, but also guarded by wolves and mountain lions under Circe's magic. The men are scared, but they are lured in by Circe and giving drinks that she had drugged. The men turn into literal pigs, but Eurylochus had a feeling it was trap and doesn't go in the house. He goes back to Odysseus crying and Odysseus decides to go save his men. Before he goes, Hermes warns Odysseus and tells Odysseus how to save his men and not end up like them. Odysseus successfully avoids Circe's attempt to trap him and his men get turned back into normal. I chose to tell this story from my point of view with my friends as the other characters. Instead of Circe, I chose an alcoholic drink named "Circe-Roc", inspired by Ciroc, to be what causes trouble in the story. Instead of the ending in the original where Odysseus doesn't fall for Circe's trap, I chose to make myself succumb to "Circe-Roc". The movie "Project X" also helped inspire me to write the story this way since it was about a big house party.
Bibliography: Homer's Odyssey: Circe's Magic, as translated by Tony Kline
Your story was quite entertaining David. My greatest moment of curiosity was what was going to happen to Dave when he went into the party to drink the "Circe-roc" . I also wonder if the drink is just alcohol or also some type of potion. I also wonder why Dave didn't react as bad to the drink as did Chance and Evan. You could maybe explain that a little better but overall your description is great. Especially the detail using Lil John music and the electronic cigerettes. I found all of your puns and hints of party popular culture amusing. What if you could make this story even more entertaining by making it some type of rhyming story or even a poem. That way it could come off easier to the reader yet still get the ideas acrossed. Overall great idea of mixing this story with the party scene of today.
ReplyDeleteDavid,
ReplyDeleteI think I'm a little jealous of your creativity in making such an ancient story suddenly very relevant. I was impressed with the opening line about the Kia, and I thought this was a surprising and intense way to begin the story. There were so many parallels to the original myth, worked seamlessly into this story about a group of friends looking for a party: arriving in the car, similar to how Odysseus arrived on a ship, sending the friends in to scout out the part, similar to Odysseus and his men splitting up, the intoxication or magical effect of the drinks, similar to the potion of Circe, and then the ultimate decision for the narrator to enter the party, similar to how Odysseus entered Circe's house. I wonder what is was about this drink that made such an impact on those who consumed it? Perhaps there were some sort of drugs mixed into the beverage, or maybe the alcohol had gone bad. I also wish that the story had continued on a bit longer! What if you added in some more detail as to what happened upon entering the party, or maybe provided more information about the rest of the evening? Great job, I found this very interesting and clever!
Wow I loved your story! It is so incredibly clever and creative! I loved how you took this old myth and made it super modern and funny. I also really appreciated how you didn’t end it with you saving the day like the original story. I thought it was really refreshing to have it end without you being the hero and saving everyone. If you were revising it, I would maybe consider elaborating a little more on the house from the outside, or how the drink tasted, or what exactly happened once you drank it. I think it would also be interesting to have a little more of an internal struggle when you are deciding whether or not to drink it. Overall though I think it’s a great story and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! I’m excited to see what other stories you come up with in the next few weeks!
ReplyDeleteDavid — I really enjoyed this retelling. Your perspective and modernizing of the setting are interesting choices and worked well with this story. One thing I did wonder is what happens that morning after the party? Are there any consequences for the main character and his men after drinking the Circe-Roc? It also seems like your main character doesn't have much of a struggle as he decides whether or not to drink the Circe-Roc — he just kind of goes with the flow. I wonder if he could have a bit more internal conflict before succumbing to the potion? Overall though, you did a great job with this retelling and I'm excited to read more from you.
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